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September 10 Wednesday

Dad has been home since last Friday, so the house has been refreshingly calm. School has also been rather dull too now that the excitement of the new year has worn off and homework is being passed out on a regular basis.

Ms. Smith wants me to submit an essay to the Young Writers of America contest, but I have no idea what I would write it on. She actually thinks I have a shot at placing, but I don�t think so. Of course, it�s easy to stand out in my class, there are only 75 of us and almost half of them are drunks already.

Maybe that�s going a little far. Okay, a third of them are drunks already. Ha.

Just because I make A�s and am set to take Advanced Lit next year, doesn�t mean I�ll actually make it as an author. Not that I wouldn�t love it. I would! But realistically, how many others have the same dream only to be shot down repeatedly by editors and publishers. Writers who actually have a story that people want to read. People who have experienced life, visited exotic places, ate French cuisine actually in France and most of all people not required to baby sit their little brother.

Who wants to read what I have to say? A small town girl from Anywhere, USA.

Often I wish I could split myself in two. One life continuing on the responsible track. Good grades in school, college, marriage, kids, respectable job, retirement, death. Dull, dull, dull.

The other half craves to travel, freelance, live off of bean sprouts and yoga, fully fulfill the artist stereotype. No kids, but nieces and nephews. No husband, but European lovers. Not even a bank account, but a beaded change purse filled with foreign currency.

I have so many interests though; I don�t know where to go first. Writing, painting, traveling and perhaps teaching. And even though I scoff at it, I would like a family too.

There�s just not time for it all.

Damn my responsible sensibilities and their nagging.



Dirty - Clean

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